Elderly Care

Having decided that you wish to find some sort of employment, one way that might help you is to contact a Job Agency. There are a number of Recruitment Agencies out there and finding one suitable for your needs requires thought. Firstly you have to think of the type of job you might like. Secondly you have to think if you want to be full or part time. Then you can try to find the agency that could help.

Who should you use

There are a huge number of Job Agencies on the Internet. Some are general and deal with all sorts of jobs and some are specific to a particular job type. If you are happy using computers and the Internet this may be the way forward for you.

If you type in Job Agencies’ into a search engine you will get a large varied selection to choose from. Typing in ‘ Job Agencies for driving’ will get you fewer and ‘Job Agencies for driving in York’ will trim them down even further. Playing around with the wording when using the search engine can be profitable. Having clicked on to an agency that looks suitable you will be directed to the home page. There will be boxes to fill and choices to make. Try them out. See what happens and get used to the layout of the site. If you find that particular site frustrating click off and try another. It can be a slow game but given time you will find something.

If computers are not the way for you, go directly to local agencies. Recruitment Agencies usually have offices in nearby towns. Ask friends if they have ever used one and if they would recommend it. Look in Yellow Pages. Local papers often have them listed near the Situations Vacant pages. Ring them up and make an appointment to see someone. They often ask for your CV so get one ready. If the first one does not appear too interested try another one. The name of the game is not to give up.

Looking in the Situations Vacant pages of the local paper is one of the most common ways of seeing what is available in the employment world locally. Every town or city will have its local paper and offshoots. To give yourself the greatest number of options, work out what is the largest area you would be prepared to travel to and find all the local papers that serve those areas. Free newspapers and magazines can also be useful.

Look through all the job opportunities

You may be looking for something specific or be prepared to try a variety of those jobs on offer. Look at whether the job is full or part time and how much they are prepared to pay. See how far you have to travel and if it is manageable. Sometimes there is a number to ring and it might be worthwhile doing this. If they need certain qualifications check that you have the right ones and that they are up to date, To give yourself the best chance do what they suggest in the advertisement. Give yourself time to work on the application form or letter of application and send it off in good time. If there is an application pack with the form the information there should give you reasonable clues.

When completing the forms, answer all the questions as fully as you can. You have got to sell yourself to give them a good reason to offer you and interview. You have to show you are keen for the job. If they ask for a letter of application list all the strengths you could bring to the position and emphasise how suitable you would be but be careful not to write much more that a page unless you really have to. They may have lots to read. Make sure you have looked at the wording of the advertisement and can offer most of what they want. If you can type it on the computer as it looks more professional.

There are jobs there but you sometimes have to seek them out. You have to be creative. One way is to ask around. If you see one of your friends is doing something you fancy talk to them and ask where they found the job. Perhaps they could tell you if there are similar ones coming up or if you could contact the person in charge at work. Let them know you would be interested if anything came up. Spend time networking with people letting them know that you want a job.

Networking can be key

Sometimes families need extra help in businesses or need someone to look after the children on a regular basis. There may not be enough money to pay large wages but your time is valuable and you deserve some sort of remuneration. Childminding is an expensive item these days and if the dog were put into a kennel for the holiday it would add to the expense.

Looking at advertisements in local shop windows is another area that might profitable. Sometimes shops themselves will put a notice in the window for a shop assistant that is required. If you go to the supermarkets look on their information boards. They might be recruiting and also there might be a card saying ‘person wanted’. Big stores often have notices saying they are taking on staff and are worth looking out for.

One other way to find a job is to sell you. Write a brief account of what you can do and place an advertisement in the local paper or put a card in the shop window. There are some newspapers that run a service whereby you can write your CV, say jobs you are happy to do and wait for employers to come headhunting. Usually it has to be done on line so this may put some people off.

Paid work is difficult to come by when you are retired. It’s a non-area, which is a pity.
There is an expectation both from ourselves that we don’t have to work and from the outside world that believes we are not capable. Both rubbish ideas. It makes excellent sense for us to contribute to the economy and give ourselves some extra money and for society to use those skills we have developed over the years. At the moment the whole area of work in the third age is an undiscovered gold mine.

An undiscovered gold mine

Practically if you are looking for work you have to look at what you can offer e.g. you like meeting people, you are good with figures; you see how much time you want to spend in this work and you make a list of the possible jobs that might be out there. Then you have to go searching.

Whatever the job you had prior to retirement you may be able to extend your time there for a few days a week. Because of the new laws against ageism companies are more relaxed about workers carrying on for more years perhaps on reduced time. If you like your work this is worth looking into. If you have been fed up with what you have been doing and would like something different, have a think about what interests you. Perhaps there has always been something you wanted to do and never had the chance. If you are at a loss as to what possibilities there are, find your local paper and look through the job vacancies. Do it for several weeks as the jobs are always changing. In most local towns there are job agencies that can sometimes be helpful. Find them in yellow pages and make an appointment to see someone.

One big lesson you have to learn in all this is that you never give up. If one idea does not work out you have to rethink. You have to wriggle and squirm and push and shove until you do get a position. Society is changing in its attitudes; you have to go kicking and screaming till they listen to you.

Some people of our age seem to love them and some hate them. Modern technology that has invaded every corner of our present existence. They are in shops, offices, and almost every home and by the looks of things are due to invade the remaining no-go areas. They are frustrating, infuriating yet in the same breath it has to be said that they give you enormous empowerment.

It is difficult to avoid

To be told by officialdom that they cannot find you on the database because the office computers crashed that morning, is aggravating; being able to email your family across the world and keep in contact at very little cost is one of the greatest boons of modern times.

If you have decided that computers are really not part of your game plan, then this next piece is not for you. If you have decided that really the technology is something you cannot avoid, then carry on.

Having jumped in the computer arena you have to decide what you want. Computers can be used for so many different functions that to get anywhere with them you have to limit what you are asking. Local colleges run courses on many computer subjects from word processing to digital reasserting. If you want to get over a computer phobia, go to classes that offer beginner instruction or just an introduction to computers. There is something to be said for getting a second hand computer and just trying it out. Always sensible to have a good friend or relative who can chat things over with you if you are going this way.

Remember that you will only learn slowly so do not expect miracle quickly. Learn a bit, then practice and then learn a bit more. Keep going. As with everything else the more you do the better you will become. You will come across technical problems, how to access things on the computer and you will become frustrated. Learn ways to get around this. Computer keen friends and relatives are good, get on good terms with the local computer shop, and buy an ‘Idiots Guide’ book. Look back in a year and you might find your computer has become one of your best friends.

So here it is and is it possible. Apparently so and for as long as you wish. Society tends to favour the young when reviewing sexual matters and the idea of someone doing it when they are over 50 can be somewhat disquieting. Banish these negative thoughts. Sex is for everyone whatever their age. Studies have found that it is incredibly good for you. Lots of friendly chemicals go rushing around your body and they make you feel wonderful. Good exercise in its own right.

Shhhh don’t talk about it

The trick is to keep your body in reasonably good shape. Eating well and doing steady exercise will help keep things in trim and make you feel like it. Appearances might make a difference so looking after the way you look matters. Not trying to look 25 when you are 55 but appearing healthy, well dressed and reasonably confident is a good way forward. Advertisers are beginning to realise that looking older can be appealing. It is probably because they are after our money but it is beginning to change the perception that age is not a bad thing.

It has been said that sex when you are more mature can be much more fun as many of the problems present with young sex have gone. No more worries about becoming pregnant; there is a lot more available time that could be used getting close to someone, many of the working pressures have gone and so there can be much more fun. We can be kinder and more caring in our relationships as we have time and experience on our side.

Sexual problems are around for us older ones as for out younger colleagues. There are doctors and sexual therapists who can help with specific difficulties and a variety of medications to help things along. A word of warning. We are as vulnerable as young people to STI’s, sexually transmitted diseases. The bugs are no respecters of age or experience. We have to be just as sensible as we require them to be.

Finding love for the more mature person can be as tricky as it is for young people. It can have the same passions, excitement and traumas that marked the earlier sessions. To find a comfortable soul mate in later years is a quest embarked on by many, as is testified by the vast number of dating sites around. It can turn out well, it can turn out badly, it can be yet another journey that you may wish to take part in.

It can be tricky

When it comes to love it seems we are at the mercy of out biochemistry. It has been suggested that there are three stages of falling in love; lust, attraction and attachment. All these stages are driven by chemicals such as Dopamine, Norepinephrine. Serotonine, Oxytocin and Vasopressin. Wonderful names for wonderful feelings. But sadly, as many of us know it does not always work out so well. There can be wrong directions at all these stages, but it is as well to be aware that these things are around.

You may believe in the physical attraction idea, the chemistry between people and certainly when you look around there are people you find more attractive than others. I t has also been suggested that we are drawn to someone who shares the same interests as we do. It is said that we carry with us a psychological blueprint holding details about our life experiences and marks they’ve left. It contains information we haven’t acknowledged about our fears and anxieties and our coping mechanisms and defences. Each of us has and unconscious capacity to scan another persons blueprint to people we’re most attracted to and those who have a blueprint that complements our own. We are looking for similarities of experience but more significantly looking for differences.

If you feel you have reached a stage where you would really like to go out there and try to find someone then there are many introduction agencies, dating agencies and clubs that bring people together specifically designed to meet this need. Have a think about yourself and what you need and then have a search to find a way that might help you in your quest.

To feel lonely is to be taken over by a terrible feeling of separateness of being totally on your own. We feel anxious, abandoned, insecure and unloved. It is a feeling that no one care for us, that we have lost everything. We are swamped by an awful aching desolation.

Modern society makes it worse

Modern lifestyles have tended to make people more susceptible to loneliness. Changing jobs, moving house, family break-ups, divorce, friends moving away, all can contribute to this feeling of isolation. Older people are particularly at risk as changing circumstances break comforting areas of life. Retirement can bring loss of purpose and status. Children grow up and move away. Perhaps a spouse or good fried dies and there is a sense of being outcast. It is not so easy to make friends when you are older and so many people live on their own.

Loneliness can be overcome if you really wish to do so. It is not easy and needs time to consider the reasons you feel lonely and constant application to put in place positive things that will help.

If you are someone who finds being on your own difficult and constantly seeks the companionship of others to block out inner loneliness. It might be worthwhile learning how to feel more relaxed in your own company. It may help to come to a better understanding of who you are and what you want. Yoga, meditation or perhaps just writing a diary may help you to relax and find a calmer view of yourself. Find something that really interests you and that gives you pleasure in it. Once you can face yourself, you relationships with others will improve.

If you spend a lot of time on your own because you feel uncomfortable in a social situation, classes in raising self-esteem and assertiveness training may be helpful. Most adult education institutions offer courses.

If you are just out of practice in meeting people, try taking small steps initially and talk to people in shops or at the bus stop. Nothing heavy. Go for small interactions with people as you go out and about. Look for suitable opportunities. You may find it easier to join a local society or club and meet people who have a similar interest as yourself. Libraries are good for lists of local activities. Join a class and learn something new. A beginner’s class will put you on the same level as others. Spend a few hours a week as a volunteer for a cause that interests you.

If the problem remains it may be helpful to talk to a councillor or psychotherapist who will help you to explore and understand your problems and courage to face and change the situation.

Entering into this third age of life can be daunting in so many ways. Having fewer friends and finding it increasingly difficult to make new relationships can be one of the greatest challenges. It is, however, one of the most important areas in our lives from now on and must be given much energy and thought. To create a rich social and family life for yourself is as important for keeping yourself fit and healthy as taking regular exercise and eating sensible food. We are social creatures to our core and need to feel in touch with others.

We are social creatures

In recent decades society has a lot to make things harder for us, not easier. Families are smaller and more fragmented. Divorce is common and children leave home and take jobs far away. Television is the big entertainer and food can be collected from the supermarket without exchanging a word with anyone. Many more people live alone these days and the opportunities presented for meeting people and talking can be considerably reduced.

As with everything else, all is not lost. If you appreciate that you need to find more friends to make life more meaningful, there is an enormous amount out there. How, when and what you is up to you. To spend time developing relationships, new friends with different interests are times well spent. Caring for those friends and investing in their lives can be rewarding and enriching. Becoming involved with new people and fresh ideas will keep your mind active and your interest alive. The more you do, the more people you meet the richer your life will become.

You have to find your way of developing a strong social network. You might find sport a good way forward. Playing golf or tennis or joining the local dance club. People run theatre groups and book clubs not to mention bridge groups or gardening clubs. Dating Agencies are there for people wanting closer relationships and social groups will organise activities where anyone can join. The list of possibilities is endless.

Commitment by dictionary definition means to duty or pledge to something or someone. A personal commitment is a pledge or promise to one’s self for personal growth.

Should we feel sorry for ourselves?

Having arrived at this particular place in our lives it is easy to say that we are no longer required, we are surplus and have no place. Our families have grown up, they are leading their own lives, we have made a mess of certain relationships, we no longer have a paid job and various parts of our bodies are not working as well as they used to. A useful time to feel sorry for ourselves. The media is hard on older people and most of society does not want to be where we are. We are a little bit unloved.

But the chances are that we are going to be around for the next 20 or 30 years. With medical science propping us up and some money available for us to use, there is a place for us in this world. What we do with these resources is up to us but we do not have to sit and mope. If we withdraw from the world it will not come running after us. One other lonely old man or woman is just another notch in social services register. We can commit to life as it is and make the last third memorable. We have freedom to get involved in lost causes, to look after our grandchildren and to follow that interest we had years ago that but had no time for. We can go out and help the church or the local animal rescue centre, hear reading in the local school or learn to ride that motorcycle. To think and work for others and to indulge in an enthusiasm can bring great rewards. To commit to life and make it work for you can bring fire and fun, beat some of the loneliness and put odd aches and pains into perspective. You can always find someone worse off than yourself and you only get back what you put in. Two good sayings for us to remember.